Ah, Negan. That guy. If you’ve ever watched The Walking Dead, you know exactly who I’m talking about—whether you love him, hate him, or just can’t get enough of his charm (and by charm, I mean baseball bat and insane cruelty). I’d seen people fail to outsmart him for seasons. And I thought, “You know what? I can do better. I’m smarter. I can outsmart Negan.”
Spoiler alert: I did not outsmart Negan. Not even close.
So, What Was I Thinking?
Listen, I know what you’re probably thinking: “Who does this person think they are, trying to outsmart Negan?” Yeah, I get it. But hey, I thought if I was smart enough to survive a global pandemic without losing my mind (just barely), I could surely outwit a dude who walks around with a bat named Lucille.
I’ve watched The Walking Dead since season one. I’ve seen countless characters fail at this exact thing. But I thought, “Eh, maybe I’m different.” Maybe I could be like Rick—strategic, tactical, decisive. But, spoiler alert again—I’m not Rick.
And Negan? Negan is always 10 steps ahead.
The Legend of Negan
I figured I should probably start with some context before I dive into my plan of complete failure. Negan isn’t just some random bad guy in the apocalypse. He’s a complex, brutal mastermind, and every move he makes is calculated. I mean, the guy runs an entire group of survivors with a mix of fear and loyalty that would make most leaders weep.
His weapon of choice? Lucille, a bat wrapped in barbed wire. A perfect metaphor for the guy—he’s blunt and, well, sharp, in the worst way.
But, instead of taking notes from everyone who’s already tried to take him down (and failed), I thought I had a plan. Surely, I could infiltrate his group and defeat him with some clever tricks.
The Plan: Getting Close to Negan
The first step was infiltrating Negan’s camp. Easy, right? Wrong. Getting into the Saviors wasn’t like signing up for a yoga class. I mean, come on, these are survivors living under Negan’s tyrannical rule—getting close to them? Tougher than solving a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded.
There’s a catch with Negan’s gang: They’re suspicious. They don’t trust anyone, and I could feel the weight of that distrust the second I stepped into their camp. It wasn’t like I was strolling in like a guest at a dinner party. This was a dangerous, high-stakes game.
The Bump in the Road: Negan’s Sixth Sense
I thought I could blend in, make friends, and work my way up to Negan. Yeah, Negan doesn’t just let anyone join the ranks without checking them out. First of all, the guy’s got this sixth sense. You know, the one where he immediately knows you’re not who you say you are? I didn’t know it at the time, but Negan was already two steps ahead of me.
It was like trying to sneak into a secret club that already had my number. Ugh. It was like trying to get into a bar with a fake ID—except the bouncer is a psychopath with a bat. And somehow, Negan could tell when you were faking it. How? Beats me, but Negan’s not the type of guy to miss a thing.
Step 1: Gaining Trust (and Failing Miserably)
Next, I thought—hey, I’ll just do what I do best: charm them. I’ll pretend I’m one of them and slowly gain their trust. Easy peasy. Or so I thought. I’m not going to lie—charming people is my go-to move, and I thought I was pretty good at it. My friends think I have a knack for this, and I figured, “Hey, Negan won’t see this coming.”
Nope.
Negan’s Mind Games: Play the Long Game
I should’ve known better. Negan doesn’t trust anyone easily. He’s not some hothead who relies on brute force alone—he’s playing mind games with everyone, 24/7. One minute he’s making a joke, and the next, he’s making you feel like a fool. Negan didn’t just test my loyalty; he tested my patience, my resolve, and my sanity.
And every time I thought I’d earned a bit of trust? It was like trying to climb a greasy slope—it just slipped right out from under me.
Where’s the Real Control?
The kicker? Negan isn’t just in control physically. Nah, he’s got this psychological warfare down to an art form. He controls you by messing with your head. You think you’re on his side, and then—BOOM—he pulls the rug out from under you. He made me question everything, and that’s when I started to realize: I wasn’t as clever as I thought.
Step 2: The Betrayal—Or Was It?
So, after all that, I thought I had it. The plan was set. I had gained just enough of Negan’s trust. It was time to pull the rug out from under him. I was about to make my move—betray him, take control, and become the new leader of the Saviors. But here’s where I royally screwed up.
The Worst Mistake: Underestimating His Control
You see, Negan doesn’t just rely on brute force to keep people under control. No, he does it by making you feel like you’re part of his world. You’re not just following orders, you’re living them. Every action you take is intertwined with his manipulation. And when I tried to make my move? Negan was waiting for me.
Caught in the Act
I had been so caught up in my own plan that I didn’t realize that Negan had already outsmarted me. I wasn’t betraying him—I was falling right into his trap. It was like the moment in a movie when the villain reveals they knew what you were doing all along.
Insert facepalm here.
The Lesson I Learned: Don’t Mess with Negan
So, yeah, I failed. Hard. I thought I could play his game. I thought I could outthink Negan and take him down, but he outplayed me in every possible way.
Why Did I Fail?
- Negan’s mind games: Negan is a master at getting inside your head. While I was plotting, he was already playing 3D chess.
- The psychological control: Negan doesn’t just use fear—he controls everything with loyalty and manipulation.
- The unpredictability: Negan is a wild card. You think you know what he’s about to do, but he’s always got another trick up his sleeve.
- The ruthlessness: And if you try to betray him? Well, let’s just say you’re not going to have a nice time.
And Here’s the Catch
After all my failed attempts, I realized something crucial: Negan is so much more than just a villain. He’s a force of nature. Trying to outsmart him isn’t just impossible—it’s like trying to wrestle an ocean.
What I Learned
I’ll never be the one to outsmart Negan. But that’s okay, because I’ve learned some tough lessons along the way:
- Never underestimate your opponent: Negan is far too smart to take lightly.
- Loyalty matters more than you think: Don’t try to play both sides with Negan. He’ll catch on, and it’s not pretty.
- You can’t outwit someone who’s always two steps ahead: If you’re not prepared for psychological warfare, don’t even try.
- Respect your enemies: If you think you can trick Negan, you’re playing a dangerous game—and chances are, you’ll lose.
Final Thoughts
Fast forward past three failed attempts. Do I regret trying to outsmart Negan? Eh, not entirely. But if you ever find yourself facing off against him, take a page from my book: run. Don’t try to outwit him, because chances are, he’s already a few moves ahead. I’ll stick to outsmarting my dog when it comes to stealing my pizza slice.
Anyway, here’s the kicker: Negan might be a twisted, bat-wielding psycho, but he’s a master strategist. Trying to outsmart him? Yeah, that was my biggest mistake.
